It's been far too long since I updated the blog. I've already assured Economics student Timothy Reginald Murdock that my writing has continued, but it's all been stuff that's either horrid or of even less interest to this blog's readership than my usual posts.
Oh look! A short story!
Once upon a time there was a boy who broke his neighbor's window. A few minutes later the old man limped his way onto the porch.
"Boy! What did you do to my window?" the man asked.
"It was an accident, sir. I was playing baseball." The small chunk of cinder block was heavy and sharp in his pocket.
"I'll be talking to your parents about the window when they get home. Get in here. No point in me keeping your ball." The boy was forced to walk with a slow pace rather than rushing ahead of the old man. It was a few minutes before they were in the living room, and once they were both inside the old man collapsed in an overstuffed recliner. "I was in the kitchen when the window broke. Didn't see where it went. My knees aren't what they used to be, so if you want your ball I'm afraid you'll need to look for it yourself."
The boy pretended to search for the imaginary ball while he scanned the room for something more important. There, on the inside of the corner cabinet, was the golden glowy thing. He continued to look for the ball. Maybe ten minutes passed, and the old man looked to be getting impatient. "Can't find it, boy?"
"I'm afraid not, sir. Do you suppose it could have rolled into that room over there?" the boy asked as he pointed down the hallway.
"That's my bedroom. I don't want you looking around in there, but I'll check as best I can." The old man lifted himself from the chair and made his way down the hall.
The boy was as quiet as he could be. He lifted the hook-and-eye lock and held his breath as the cabinet made a tiny squeak. He took the golden glowy thing off of the shelf and put it back in his pocket. Hearing the old man on his way back from the bedroom, the boy rushed to close and lock the cabinet. Again it creaked, and the boy hoped the old man's hearing was bad. He sat on the couch and tried to act as if nothing had happened.
"I didn't see any ball in there. My granddaughter is coming down to visit in a couple days. I'll see if I can get her to check behind the dresser and under the bed for me."
"Thank you, sir."
"You better get along home, now."
"Yes, sir."
"But would you mind telling me what's in your pocket first?"
The boy looked around, panic-stricken. "What do you mean?"
"I'm not deaf, and it's no accident that I've got a creaky cabinet."
The boy reached into his pocket and held out the golden glowy thing. "I'm sorry. It was just so beautiful."
"Was it worth breaking a window for?" The boy didn't reply, so the old man answered for him. "Yes. Yes it was. This little ball is worth breaking open a window, it's worth breaking into a house, and it's even worth killing a man. Ten men. Twenty-seven, in one case." He held it up so the tiny sunlight was reflecting off of it. The ball looked as if it was full of crashing waves and twinkling stars. "This thing is more than a pretty marble. Much more."
The boy had no idea what to say. Kill a man? He almost turned to run when the old man stepped forward. "I think we can make a deal, boy. You don't tell anyone about this thing, and I won't tell your parents about the window. You stop stealing my valuables, and I'll do a better job of hiding them." The boy nodded in agreement. The man stuck out his hand, the boy shook it, and the boy left.
The boy's parents came home, and true to his word the old man never told them. The summer went and while the boy tried to put the golden glowy thing out of his mind, he still sometimes saw it in his dreams. A few years later, he and his family moved.
His senior year of high school the boy's parents told him that their old neighbor had died. And a few days later he received a small box in the mail, the return address belonging to the house next to the one where he had spent his childhood. He remembered the golden glowy thing. The boy rushed upstairs, opened the box, and reached inside.
Holding the baseball, he laughed.
Read more on this article...
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Fifty Things I Love About Comics
Figured it was about time to post something relatively positive, so I've taken a cue from mightygodking.com and posted fifty things I love about comic books, in something approaching sequential order.
I'll try and post something not related to comics tomorrow. Promise.
50. The book delays that caused Mysterio's resurrection to be published before his death.
49. Freddie Prinze Jr.'s greatest foe? The Incredible Hulk.
48. Cyclops wanting that Sentinel off his yard.
47. Nick Fury and Samuel L. Jackson being the same guy.
46. "I hid it in the batarang budget. It's bigger than you might think."
45. Spoiler not being dead.
44. Aunt May: Herald of Galactus.
43. Marvel's first company-wide crossover existing to sell action figures and break up a happy couple.
42. The color yellow being a valid weakness for a superhero.
41. Boxing glove arrows.
40. That picture of a Nextwave cast member hitting a T-Rex with a great white shark.
39. The continuity mess that gave Black Canary false memories of sleeping with her own father.
38. Marvel showing us that if you try telling your parents that you and your best friend are superheroes, they'll assume you're gay instead. And they'll probably be right.
37. Deadpool having the same voice as Demi Moore.
36. P-Cat, The Penitent Puss.
35. Ralph & Sue Dibny: Ghost Detectives!
34. Green Arrow explaining to Green Lantern once a month why liberalism rocks.
33. Jay Garrick's hat.
32. Captain Cold.
31. He's a crazy libertarian without a face. She's a lesbian cop who got kicked off the force for not playing by the rules. They fight crime!
30. "That's a lot of ninjas." "It's a bunch." "That's more than the usual amount of ninjas."
29. Ch'p, the squirrel Green Lantern.
28. Booster Gold thinks in Esperanto.
27. Pink Kryptonite. Because it takes a space rock to get Superman and Jimmy Olsen to admit their forbidden love.
26. When Squirrel Girl is around, Doctor Doom knows his place.
25. Jamie Madrox, Multiple Man.
24. Alfred Pennyworth.
23. Stan Lee. We should all hope to be that cool at eighty-five.
22. Barbara Gordon and Black Canary fighting crime together, and both technically being sex offenders.
21. Captain America being a New Deal Democrat.
20. Quicksilver's therapy session.
19. Mary Marvel.
18. Deadpool's infatuation with Bea Arthur.
17. "I've got a 70,000 dollar sliver of radioactive meteorite to keep the one from Krypton in line. All I need for you is a penny for a book of matches."
16. John Belushi had a teleportation ring. Until Silver Samurai stole it.
15. "Stupid jetpack Hitler!"
14. Look! Up in the sky!
13. The Riddler: like a regular criminal, only easier to catch.
12. Molly f'ing Hayes has beat the crap out of Wolverine.
11. The greatest explosion sound effect ever: "BA-THROOM!"
10. Impulse.
9. The way any sentence can be enhanced with the addition of the word "Batman."
8. Luke Cage flying halfway around the planet and beating up Doctor Doom over a debt of two hundred dollars.
7. Blue Beetle
6. Squirrel Girl.
5. Layla Miller. She knows stuff.
4. Booster Gold: The Greatest Hero The World Has Never Known.
3. That story about Daxamite Earth-3 Abe Lincoln that's in my head and will make millions of dollars for DC if they'll only return my phone calls.
2.The other Blue Beetle.
1. Molly f'ing Hayes. Read more on this article...
I'll try and post something not related to comics tomorrow. Promise.
50. The book delays that caused Mysterio's resurrection to be published before his death.
49. Freddie Prinze Jr.'s greatest foe? The Incredible Hulk.
48. Cyclops wanting that Sentinel off his yard.
47. Nick Fury and Samuel L. Jackson being the same guy.
46. "I hid it in the batarang budget. It's bigger than you might think."
45. Spoiler not being dead.
44. Aunt May: Herald of Galactus.
43. Marvel's first company-wide crossover existing to sell action figures and break up a happy couple.
42. The color yellow being a valid weakness for a superhero.
41. Boxing glove arrows.
40. That picture of a Nextwave cast member hitting a T-Rex with a great white shark.
39. The continuity mess that gave Black Canary false memories of sleeping with her own father.
38. Marvel showing us that if you try telling your parents that you and your best friend are superheroes, they'll assume you're gay instead. And they'll probably be right.
37. Deadpool having the same voice as Demi Moore.
36. P-Cat, The Penitent Puss.
35. Ralph & Sue Dibny: Ghost Detectives!
34. Green Arrow explaining to Green Lantern once a month why liberalism rocks.
33. Jay Garrick's hat.
32. Captain Cold.
31. He's a crazy libertarian without a face. She's a lesbian cop who got kicked off the force for not playing by the rules. They fight crime!
30. "That's a lot of ninjas." "It's a bunch." "That's more than the usual amount of ninjas."
29. Ch'p, the squirrel Green Lantern.
28. Booster Gold thinks in Esperanto.
27. Pink Kryptonite. Because it takes a space rock to get Superman and Jimmy Olsen to admit their forbidden love.
26. When Squirrel Girl is around, Doctor Doom knows his place.
25. Jamie Madrox, Multiple Man.
24. Alfred Pennyworth.
23. Stan Lee. We should all hope to be that cool at eighty-five.
22. Barbara Gordon and Black Canary fighting crime together, and both technically being sex offenders.
21. Captain America being a New Deal Democrat.
20. Quicksilver's therapy session.
19. Mary Marvel.
18. Deadpool's infatuation with Bea Arthur.
17. "I've got a 70,000 dollar sliver of radioactive meteorite to keep the one from Krypton in line. All I need for you is a penny for a book of matches."
16. John Belushi had a teleportation ring. Until Silver Samurai stole it.
15. "Stupid jetpack Hitler!"
14. Look! Up in the sky!
13. The Riddler: like a regular criminal, only easier to catch.
12. Molly f'ing Hayes has beat the crap out of Wolverine.
11. The greatest explosion sound effect ever: "BA-THROOM!"
10. Impulse.
9. The way any sentence can be enhanced with the addition of the word "Batman."
8. Luke Cage flying halfway around the planet and beating up Doctor Doom over a debt of two hundred dollars.
7. Blue Beetle
6. Squirrel Girl.
5. Layla Miller. She knows stuff.
4. Booster Gold: The Greatest Hero The World Has Never Known.
3. That story about Daxamite Earth-3 Abe Lincoln that's in my head and will make millions of dollars for DC if they'll only return my phone calls.
2.The other Blue Beetle.
1. Molly f'ing Hayes. Read more on this article...
It is 2:05. I want to go to sleep. Sort of. I have spent about twenty minutes staring at the screen or burying my head in a pillow attempting to think of what to put on the screen. Horrible prose involving Kenny Rogers followed, and then was deleted. I am not going to sleep until I have typed two hundred words. By now the padding has become obvious.
Morgan Freeman was in a car accident over the weekend. The jaws of life were needed to pry both Freeman and a passenger out of the car, but despite that fact (and several broken bones) he was talking and joking with the paramedics when they arrived. He'll be okay in six to eight weeks, which is pretty impressive when you remember the guy is seventy-one. I also learned Morgan Freeman is from Mississippi. "Home of poverty, alligators, a few million homophobes and Morgan Freeman" might be an accurate description of the state, but it also demonstrates there are some things Morgan Freeman actually can't elevate by association.
Should this even be posted? Probably not. But it's been a few days, this blog is supposed to be used for writing exercises, and having this post where people can see it might shame me into stepping up my game. But I planned on doing a series of Batman-related haikus tomorrow, so the likelihood of that is slim. Read more on this article...
Morgan Freeman was in a car accident over the weekend. The jaws of life were needed to pry both Freeman and a passenger out of the car, but despite that fact (and several broken bones) he was talking and joking with the paramedics when they arrived. He'll be okay in six to eight weeks, which is pretty impressive when you remember the guy is seventy-one. I also learned Morgan Freeman is from Mississippi. "Home of poverty, alligators, a few million homophobes and Morgan Freeman" might be an accurate description of the state, but it also demonstrates there are some things Morgan Freeman actually can't elevate by association.
Should this even be posted? Probably not. But it's been a few days, this blog is supposed to be used for writing exercises, and having this post where people can see it might shame me into stepping up my game. But I planned on doing a series of Batman-related haikus tomorrow, so the likelihood of that is slim. Read more on this article...
Sunday, August 3, 2008
A couple of years ago I tried to get work with a small press comic book company. One of their requests was that I write a script for a ten-page Spider-Man/Ghost Rider comic. My two goals were to find an excuse to have Marvel heroes fight Hunter S. Thompson and to find a way to hide my complete ignorance of the Ghost Rider character. Miraculously enough I ended up getting the job, but little things like creative differences and hospitalization prevented me from actually getting work done during my time with the company.
Due to popular demand (by which I mean one guy on a message board asking to see the script), I'm posting this monstrosity in its full glory.
PAGE ONE
(1)
ESTABLISHING SHOT: A nice wooded road, somewhere in New York. We have a front-on view of a hot pink convertible, its driver bearing a close resemblance to Clark Kent. This character is JOE Q. REPORTER. This panel takes up the top one-third of the page.
1 CAPTION (JOE): I was somewhere around Albany when the drugs began to take hold.
(2)
This panel is the same size as the first. The background begins to melt, and the drawing gets much rougher and unfinished. Maybe it's just pencilled before coloring and not inked? There are bats in the sky, and the forest has turned to desert. JOE has his head sticking out the side of the car, his tongue hanging out.
2 CAPTION (JOE): My publisher has transferred me to one Daily Bugle, a paper in New York City.
(3)
A black panel taking up the rest of the page.
3 CAPTION (JOE): Under my lawyer's advisement, I have had as much fun as possible on my way.
PAGE TWO
(1)
A splash page of the New York City skyline. Scattered in front of it are the following TV screen-shaped balloons, with various reporters chiming in with the news. At the bottom of the page, the title.
1 CAPTION: One week later.
2 REPORTER THE FIRST: Not since the days of Jack The Ripper has there been a -
3 REPORTER THE SECOND: Police caution motorists to be extremely careful when driving at night -
4 REPORTER THE THIRD: In the last week, there have been thirty-three confirmed slayings -
TITLE: FEAR AND LOATHING IN THE BIG APPLE
PAGE THREE
(1)
J. Jonah Jameson is sitting at his desk shouting into a phone.
1 JAMESON: You've been here a week and you haven't managed to uncover Spider-Man's real identity.
2 JAMESON: Just what kind of investigative reporter are you?
(2)
Joe Q. Reporter is on the other end. He's sitting on a soiled mattress in a sleazy motel. He's propped his phone up with his shoulder, and is using both hands to fiddle with a pill bottle.
3 JOE: Calm down, Jameson. The way I understand it, it's taken you years.
4 JOE: I'm working on a few leads. These things take time.
(3)
Joe Q. Reporter's pill bottle opens, sending pills everywhere. The phone flies off into some corner of the room.
(4)
Joe Q. Reporter is on his knees, scooping up a handful of pills with his hands. A DEAD HOOKER is on the floor, and appears to have been strangled.
(5)
Joe is popping a handful of pills into his mouth.
5 JOE: Maintain, man. Maintain.
6 JOE: Spider-Man is the problem. Not you.
(6)
A closeup of Joe's left eye, now glowing red.
7 CAPTION (JOE): Fix the problem, get more pills.
8 CAPTION (JOE): Fix the problem, keep your job.
9 CAPTION (JOE): All roads lead to Spider-Man.
PAGE FOUR
(1)
Night time. Spider-Man is swinging through the city, on patrol.
1 SPIDER-MAN (Singing): Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a-
2 (From off panel) FX: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
3 SPIDER-MAN: Time to get serious.
(2)
A hulking, monstrous-looking Joe Q. Reporter holds a woman up against a wall with one hand.
4 JOE: That's right. Scream for me. Bring the spider to me.
(3)
Spider-Man springs into action, dropkicking Joe Q. Reporter in the back.
5 FX: THWACK
(4)
Spider-Man falls. It looks as if his dropkick did absolutely nothing to Joe Q. Reporter.
6 SPIDER-MAN: What got into this guy? That dropkick didn't even budge him.
PAGE FIVE
(1)
GHOST RIDER stands in Joe Q. Reporter's motel room. The dead hooker is at his feet. In this panel, we only see him from the waist down. This page should almost be a splash page, with this panel and the next together only taking up about the top third of the page.
1 CAPTION (GHOST RIDER): This was a pointless death. There was no reason for this woman to die.
2 CAPTION (GHOST RIDER): That smell... sulfur.
(2)
A close-up of Ghost Rider's flaming skull.
3 CAPTION (GHOST RIDER): Mephisto was responsible for this. The entire city could be in danger.
(3)
Ghost Rider, speeding through the city on his flaming motorcycle. This is the page's glory shot, and should convey the sheer seventies awesomeness of the Ghost Rider character design.
4 CAPTION (GHOST RIDER): I pray to whatever god will listen that I'm not too late.
PAGE SIX
(1)
Spider-Man's head has been slammed against a brick wall. We see his slightly-ripped mask, Joe's hand, and a wall in this panel, and not much else.
1 FX: CHUNK
2 JOE: Just die. You'll make things easier on both of us that way.
(2)
Spider-Man, half-embedded in the wall, shoots a web into Joe's face.
3 SPIDER-MAN: Mom always said I liked to do things the hard way.
(3)
Joe Q. Reporter is flailing around, trying to hit anything that moves.
(4)
Spider-Man lands a few solid punches in rapid-fire sequence into Joe Q. Reporter's back, but can't even make a mark.
PAGE SEVEN
(1)
Joe Q. Reporter rips the webbing off of his face.
(2)
Joe Q. Reporter punches Spider-Man hard in the chin.
(3)
Spider-Man lands in a pile of trash on the sidewalk.
(4)
A flaming motorcycle pulls up in front of Spider-Man. Ghost Rider is all that's standing between Spider-Man and certain death at the hands of Joe Q. Reporter.
1 GHOST RIDER: As long as there is a breath in my body, you will not touch him.
(5)
A close-up of Joe Q. Reporter's left eye. It's not glowing red anymore.
2 CAPTION (JOE): Oh, no. The pills are wearing off.
PAGE EIGHT
(1)
Joe Q. Reporter takes off down an alley, trying to make it to his pink convertible.
(2)
Ghost Rider offers a hand to Spider-Man.
1 GHOST RIDER: Are you all right?
2 SPIDER-MAN: I'm all right if your head's on fire.
3 GHOST RIDER: It'll do that.
(3)
Joe Q. Reporter is in his car, speeding around the corner and onto the street.
4 CAPTION (JOE): There is a misconception that, when pursued by a superhero, you should pull over.
5 CAPTION (JOE): This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the superhero's heart.
6 CAPTION (JOE): Make him chase. He will follow.
(4)
Ghost Rider is pursuing Joe Q. Reporter on his motorcycle. This is a behind-the-shoulder shot.
7 CAPTION (GHOST RIDER): I let him think he'll get away... for about two seconds.
8 CAPTION (GHOST RIDER): I try hard not to enjoy this.
PAGE NINE
(1)
Joe Q. Reporter takes another turn. Spider-Man, perched on top of a nearby building, is watching him.
1 SPIDER-MAN: Let's see how he takes a dropkick now.
(2)
A side-view of the action: Spider-Man jumps off the rooftop and starts his dropkick (from the right of the panel) as Joe Q. Reporter speeds down the street. Ghost Rider is in hot pursuit.
(3)
A view as if we're in the convertible's back seat. Spider-Man crashes through the windshield and catches Joe Q. Reporter square in the face.
(4)
The car swerves and crashes into a drug store (which now has a new drive-thru window, courtesy of the car).
PAGE TEN
(1)
Joe Q is webbed up and hanging upside down from a light pole, with police trying to cut him down. Spider-Man and Ghost Rider stand on a building above the action.
(2)
The two stand side by side. This is a basic two-shot of their faces.
1 SPIDER-MAN: Thanks for the assist, uh...
2 GHOST RIDER: Ghost Rider.
3 SPIDER-MAN: Ghost Rider. Thanks.
4 SPIDER-MAN: Do you think the killings will stop now?
(3)
Mephisto's face, grinning at the reader.
5 GHOST RIDER: No. I'm afraid they've just begun.
END Read more on this article...
Due to popular demand (by which I mean one guy on a message board asking to see the script), I'm posting this monstrosity in its full glory.
PAGE ONE
(1)
ESTABLISHING SHOT: A nice wooded road, somewhere in New York. We have a front-on view of a hot pink convertible, its driver bearing a close resemblance to Clark Kent. This character is JOE Q. REPORTER. This panel takes up the top one-third of the page.
1 CAPTION (JOE): I was somewhere around Albany when the drugs began to take hold.
(2)
This panel is the same size as the first. The background begins to melt, and the drawing gets much rougher and unfinished. Maybe it's just pencilled before coloring and not inked? There are bats in the sky, and the forest has turned to desert. JOE has his head sticking out the side of the car, his tongue hanging out.
2 CAPTION (JOE): My publisher has transferred me to one Daily Bugle, a paper in New York City.
(3)
A black panel taking up the rest of the page.
3 CAPTION (JOE): Under my lawyer's advisement, I have had as much fun as possible on my way.
PAGE TWO
(1)
A splash page of the New York City skyline. Scattered in front of it are the following TV screen-shaped balloons, with various reporters chiming in with the news. At the bottom of the page, the title.
1 CAPTION: One week later.
2 REPORTER THE FIRST: Not since the days of Jack The Ripper has there been a -
3 REPORTER THE SECOND: Police caution motorists to be extremely careful when driving at night -
4 REPORTER THE THIRD: In the last week, there have been thirty-three confirmed slayings -
TITLE: FEAR AND LOATHING IN THE BIG APPLE
PAGE THREE
(1)
J. Jonah Jameson is sitting at his desk shouting into a phone.
1 JAMESON: You've been here a week and you haven't managed to uncover Spider-Man's real identity.
2 JAMESON: Just what kind of investigative reporter are you?
(2)
Joe Q. Reporter is on the other end. He's sitting on a soiled mattress in a sleazy motel. He's propped his phone up with his shoulder, and is using both hands to fiddle with a pill bottle.
3 JOE: Calm down, Jameson. The way I understand it, it's taken you years.
4 JOE: I'm working on a few leads. These things take time.
(3)
Joe Q. Reporter's pill bottle opens, sending pills everywhere. The phone flies off into some corner of the room.
(4)
Joe Q. Reporter is on his knees, scooping up a handful of pills with his hands. A DEAD HOOKER is on the floor, and appears to have been strangled.
(5)
Joe is popping a handful of pills into his mouth.
5 JOE: Maintain, man. Maintain.
6 JOE: Spider-Man is the problem. Not you.
(6)
A closeup of Joe's left eye, now glowing red.
7 CAPTION (JOE): Fix the problem, get more pills.
8 CAPTION (JOE): Fix the problem, keep your job.
9 CAPTION (JOE): All roads lead to Spider-Man.
PAGE FOUR
(1)
Night time. Spider-Man is swinging through the city, on patrol.
1 SPIDER-MAN (Singing): Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a-
2 (From off panel) FX: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
3 SPIDER-MAN: Time to get serious.
(2)
A hulking, monstrous-looking Joe Q. Reporter holds a woman up against a wall with one hand.
4 JOE: That's right. Scream for me. Bring the spider to me.
(3)
Spider-Man springs into action, dropkicking Joe Q. Reporter in the back.
5 FX: THWACK
(4)
Spider-Man falls. It looks as if his dropkick did absolutely nothing to Joe Q. Reporter.
6 SPIDER-MAN: What got into this guy? That dropkick didn't even budge him.
PAGE FIVE
(1)
GHOST RIDER stands in Joe Q. Reporter's motel room. The dead hooker is at his feet. In this panel, we only see him from the waist down. This page should almost be a splash page, with this panel and the next together only taking up about the top third of the page.
1 CAPTION (GHOST RIDER): This was a pointless death. There was no reason for this woman to die.
2 CAPTION (GHOST RIDER): That smell... sulfur.
(2)
A close-up of Ghost Rider's flaming skull.
3 CAPTION (GHOST RIDER): Mephisto was responsible for this. The entire city could be in danger.
(3)
Ghost Rider, speeding through the city on his flaming motorcycle. This is the page's glory shot, and should convey the sheer seventies awesomeness of the Ghost Rider character design.
4 CAPTION (GHOST RIDER): I pray to whatever god will listen that I'm not too late.
PAGE SIX
(1)
Spider-Man's head has been slammed against a brick wall. We see his slightly-ripped mask, Joe's hand, and a wall in this panel, and not much else.
1 FX: CHUNK
2 JOE: Just die. You'll make things easier on both of us that way.
(2)
Spider-Man, half-embedded in the wall, shoots a web into Joe's face.
3 SPIDER-MAN: Mom always said I liked to do things the hard way.
(3)
Joe Q. Reporter is flailing around, trying to hit anything that moves.
(4)
Spider-Man lands a few solid punches in rapid-fire sequence into Joe Q. Reporter's back, but can't even make a mark.
PAGE SEVEN
(1)
Joe Q. Reporter rips the webbing off of his face.
(2)
Joe Q. Reporter punches Spider-Man hard in the chin.
(3)
Spider-Man lands in a pile of trash on the sidewalk.
(4)
A flaming motorcycle pulls up in front of Spider-Man. Ghost Rider is all that's standing between Spider-Man and certain death at the hands of Joe Q. Reporter.
1 GHOST RIDER: As long as there is a breath in my body, you will not touch him.
(5)
A close-up of Joe Q. Reporter's left eye. It's not glowing red anymore.
2 CAPTION (JOE): Oh, no. The pills are wearing off.
PAGE EIGHT
(1)
Joe Q. Reporter takes off down an alley, trying to make it to his pink convertible.
(2)
Ghost Rider offers a hand to Spider-Man.
1 GHOST RIDER: Are you all right?
2 SPIDER-MAN: I'm all right if your head's on fire.
3 GHOST RIDER: It'll do that.
(3)
Joe Q. Reporter is in his car, speeding around the corner and onto the street.
4 CAPTION (JOE): There is a misconception that, when pursued by a superhero, you should pull over.
5 CAPTION (JOE): This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the superhero's heart.
6 CAPTION (JOE): Make him chase. He will follow.
(4)
Ghost Rider is pursuing Joe Q. Reporter on his motorcycle. This is a behind-the-shoulder shot.
7 CAPTION (GHOST RIDER): I let him think he'll get away... for about two seconds.
8 CAPTION (GHOST RIDER): I try hard not to enjoy this.
PAGE NINE
(1)
Joe Q. Reporter takes another turn. Spider-Man, perched on top of a nearby building, is watching him.
1 SPIDER-MAN: Let's see how he takes a dropkick now.
(2)
A side-view of the action: Spider-Man jumps off the rooftop and starts his dropkick (from the right of the panel) as Joe Q. Reporter speeds down the street. Ghost Rider is in hot pursuit.
(3)
A view as if we're in the convertible's back seat. Spider-Man crashes through the windshield and catches Joe Q. Reporter square in the face.
(4)
The car swerves and crashes into a drug store (which now has a new drive-thru window, courtesy of the car).
PAGE TEN
(1)
Joe Q is webbed up and hanging upside down from a light pole, with police trying to cut him down. Spider-Man and Ghost Rider stand on a building above the action.
(2)
The two stand side by side. This is a basic two-shot of their faces.
1 SPIDER-MAN: Thanks for the assist, uh...
2 GHOST RIDER: Ghost Rider.
3 SPIDER-MAN: Ghost Rider. Thanks.
4 SPIDER-MAN: Do you think the killings will stop now?
(3)
Mephisto's face, grinning at the reader.
5 GHOST RIDER: No. I'm afraid they've just begun.
END Read more on this article...
Saturday, August 2, 2008
About The Author
Most blogs would probably use this as a first post kind of thing, but this isn't most blogs. Other things separating this blog from others: a good layout, coherent prose, and readers. Okay, pity party's over.
My name is Clayton Wick, at the time of this posting I'm twenty-two years old, unemployed, unpublished, single, and living in North Carolina. I hope to change one or more of the things on that list in the next year, and seeing as I turn twenty-three at the end of December projections show I'm going to meet my goal.
From the fifth grade onward people have told me I was a good writer, and while I did a lot of listening, a lot of thinking, and a lot of brainstorming it seems that I never really got around to doing much writing. Things took a particular turn for the worse when I was admitted into the hospital in early 2006 for depression, as the medication I was prescribed was having a negative effect on my creative drive. But with new pills comes a new lease on my writerly life, and it's my sincere hope that this blog will allow me the creative calisthenics needed to turn ten year-old potential into something I'm not ashamed of showing to professionals.
What is this blog going to be? I'm not really sure. The original plan was to get a webcomic started this month, but in all honesty I lack the artistic talent and don't know any artist willing to collaborate. UNC-G Economics student Timothy Ulysses Murdock (which sounds more impressive than "my friend Tim") said a few weeks ago that I need to tell my life story on account of the weirdness contained therein, so a lot of that will probably be posted here. I'm a big fan of comics, so there will probably be a lot of talk about that. And I'm a very political person, so if John McCain wins the 2008 election I'll probably start posting from a bunker in an undisclosed location.
Whether you're a new reader looking back on this after my thousandth post or the third person to ever view this page, I hope you stick around and see what happens. And if you don't, I can only say that you suck. Read more on this article...
Frank Miller is My Aunt
Frank Miller is my aunt.
That probably demands some explanation, doesn't it?
My mother had two sisters and three brothers. When I was born at the tail end of 1985, my aunts and uncles of course showered me with love, affection, and most importantly: toys. One of the rules Mom laid down when I was about three was that I was not allowed any "war toys" like cap guns or GI Joes. I ended up being Ghostbusters kind of kid instead and my mom was okay with that, instilling in me from a young age important values like pacifism and playing with dead people.
But my eldest aunt, Lynn, had other ideas. In addition to Bill Murray's Peter Venkman, Aunt Lynn was one of my earliest bad influences. She would always go against my mother's wishes and buy me those forbidden war toys I was told I could never have.
So how does this tie into Frank Miller? Just a year or two before I was given my first GI Joe, Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns #1 was released in February of 1986. In an instant, Frank Miller had become Aunt Lynn for the comic book readers around the world. It had been made apparent in Batman's earliest appearances that being based around a creature of the night and all he was a dark character, but Miller's was pitch black. And you'd better believe he gave us war toys. This new Batman, Miller's Batman, had batarangs that could cut through flesh and a Batmobile that should probably have been called the Bat-Tank. It even had a machine gun installed! "Rubber bullets. Honest."
Much like Aunt Lynn did for me, Frank Miller gave every comic book fan something they'd been told they couldn't have, something that seemed an awful lot more dangerous than the status quo even if it wasn't. Guns or not, GI Joes were just more action figures to put alongside my Ghostbusters. Flesh-rending personalized boomerangs aside, the major thing separating Miller's Batman from all the other superheroes was a little bit of kevlar and a car that couldn't be driven on the highway.
To my knowledge Aunt Lynn never apologized to my mother for giving me those war toys, and she continued to be a bad influence for years afterward by giving the gift of jokes involving fish flatulence. Frank Miller also continued being the aunt of questionable with offerings like 300 and Sin City. Not that I think an apology is needed. Truth be told, I played with my Ghostbusters more than the GI Joes once the "forbidden fruit" appeal had worn out its welcome and most comic book readers who toughed out the grim-and-gritty nineties went back to the more classic depictions of their heroes.
I didn't end up a violent kid, and wouldn't have become one due to any amount of war toys. Frank Miller was indirectly responsible for the second Robin, Jason Todd, being killed, but writer Judd Winick must have learned that playing with dead people was fun because during Batman tenure Todd got better. So in the case of Aunt Lynn and Frank Miller it's safe to say no harm, no foul.
Unless you're Superman, and still feel sore about getting nuked by the Soviets. Read more on this article...
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